Keeping casual dating private: photos, names and payments

Wanting privacy isn't the same as having something to hide. Most people would rather their boss, their mum and their ex didn't have a running commentary on their love life, and that's entirely reasonable. Here's how to keep casual dating on a need-to-know basis.

Who can actually see your profile?

Members of Local Slags can see your profile, and so can members of partner sites in the same network, because profiles are shared across it. Each profile shows which site it was created on. Someone you'd never think to look for on a casual dating site could, in principle, come across you on a partner site. That's worth knowing before you choose your photos and write your bio.

It cuts both ways: anyone you recognise there is presumably after the same thing you are. A bit of mutual discretion is the grown-up response. How Local Slags works explains the network in more detail.

Photos that don't give you away

The most private dating photo is one that exists nowhere else online. Every photo on Local Slags is reviewed, and nudity and lingerie shots aren't allowed, so your profile pictures are, by design, the clothed version of you. A few further choices make them harder to trace:

• Use pictures that aren't on your social media. A reverse image search can link a dating photo to your public accounts in seconds.
• Check the background. Work lanyards, uniforms, your front door, a car number plate, a recognisable view from your window.
• Think about your main photo. You might prefer something that shows you clearly to people you've matched with, but isn't a straight-on passport shot. Members want to see who they're talking to, so don't overdo the mystery.
• Turn off location tagging in your phone's camera settings if you're sending photos directly to anyone, so files don't carry more information than you meant.

What gives people away: a quick audit

Most people who get recognised aren't found through one big slip but through several small details that add up. Run through this before your profile goes live:

Names, numbers and where you live

Keep your surname, workplace and address to yourself until you've met someone and trust them. A first name and "I work in an office in town" is plenty for a first chat.

When you're ready to move off the site, remember a phone number often reveals more than you think: messaging apps can show your name and profile picture, and some people search numbers online. Check what your messaging app shows to people who aren't in your contacts. A separate email address for dating keeps notifications out of a shared inbox.

None of this is about being cagey with the people you meet. It's about deciding when they get each bit of information, rather than handing it all over before the first drink. Report Fraud gives the same advice for dating generally: be careful what you share, and keep your social media accounts private. Our meeting safely checklist covers what to share before a first meet.

What shows on your bank statement

Checkout shows the billing name that a Local Slags payment will use on your card statement, so check it before you pay if anyone else sees your statements. Memberships renew automatically until you cancel in Settings > Billing, so a forgotten renewal is the most common way a statement surprises someone. The prices page explains how billing works, and log in help covers cancelling.

Your intimate images

The safest intimate photo is the one you never send. If you do share something:

• Only with someone you've met and trust, and never because you were pushed.
• Leave out your face, tattoos, birthmarks and anything in the background that identifies you or your home.
• Assume it could be kept. Disappearing messages and screenshots don't mix.

If someone shares, or threatens to share, an intimate image of you without consent, that's a crime in England and Wales under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 (since 31 January 2024) and in Scotland under the Abusive Behaviour and Sexual Harm (Scotland) Act 2016. Don't pay anyone who threatens you; Report Fraud says paying doesn't guarantee the threats stop. Keep the evidence, report it to the police on 101 (999 if you're at immediate risk), and contact the Revenge Porn Helpline, which supports adults across the UK. If you were 18 or over in the images, StopNCII.org creates a digital fingerprint of them on your own device so participating platforms can block copies, without the images being uploaded.

The fake profiles guide explains how this kind of blackmail usually starts.

If you're recognised, or you recognise someone

If you spot someone you know, the decent thing is to say nothing to anyone else. They're there for the same reason you are, and outing someone's private life can cause real harm. If it bothers you, simply don't engage.

If someone recognises you and makes it awkward, you don't owe them an explanation. If they threaten to tell people unless you do something, whether that's pay, send pictures or meet, that's coercion: stop replying, keep the messages and report them through the members help centre and, if they're demanding money or images, to the police.

Leaving cleanly

When you've had your fun, or met someone and want to tidy up:

1. Cancel renewal in Settings > Billing before the next payment date.
2. Delete your account: click your avatar, then Settings > Delete Account.
3. Tidy the edges: delete chats you moved to your phone, remove saved contacts you won't use, and close the dating email address if you made one.
4. Ask for erasure if you want certainty. Under UK data protection law you can ask an organisation to delete the personal data it holds about you. The Information Commissioner's Office (ICO) says organisations generally have one calendar month to respond, and that some data may have to be kept where the law requires it. Make the request through the members help centre; if you're unhappy with the response, you can complain to the ICO.

Private, not deceptive

Discretion here means controlling who knows about your personal life. It doesn't stretch to misleading the people you meet. Be honest with them about what you're after, and about condoms and testing, so they can make their own choices. The consent guide explains where the law draws its lines, and the safety and consent page has the key contacts in one place.